the "love" factor: choice beyond bonds and guilts

The other day, a friend of mine told me how she described to her parents the way she was dealing with their relation. She merely told them that she loved them both dearly, but she didn't like hanging out with them. She was acknowledging the fact that they were her parents and that wouldn't change, but she was feeling that they had nothing in common as far as choices in personal life, art, food, politics, dreaming, goals-setup were concerned.
She put a lot of effort to describe to me the awe and the astounding silence that dashed into that living-room, the moment she spelled the words! After all these years of "civilized" discussions and not-so civilized ones; after all the times she tried to explain to them that she could not lead her life the way they wanted; after all these years she was accusing herself of feeling profoundly ashamed of them; now she finally said the very few but decisive and sincere words.

I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart for sharing with me this precious episode of her life. These few magical words liberated me from my own family-bonds confinement. This magic spell gave me the possibility to observe the dimension in my life that was always there, but my eyes -full of remorses, well educated guilts and social ''musts''- were untrained to see.

It can be so true, you know, to love one's parents profoundly for they've given one's gift of life. But that does not mean one has to mimic one's parents choices, points of view, lives. If that were the case, imagine what would happen (and it had happened plenty of times in the human past). It means no boldness to new adventures and new life pathways. No boldness equals no creation that is needed order to bring progress and evolution to humanity. No creation equals no pleasure, no joy, no laughter, no reasons for true life.

Now, in my early thirties, I know I love both of my parents, but they are so different from me. I cannot be (or worse, become) what they wish me to; or better become that lost and unrealized ambition they keep on their minds, which they project on me. I knew ever since the beginning of my life that I was different from them. I guess most children do. I cannot blame them for not sharing this opinion with me.
Right now I'm happy to admit that my priority is to consciously give my unconditioned love to the person that is always around me, following me so devotedly, with a lot of support and precious consulting. Myself.

I cannot help it, if they are angry with me. It's their choice, and I fully respect it. But the most important this "magic spell" offered to my life was that I'm not afraid any more of the "oneness" effect, because, even this one is a mere illusion. We are never alone or abandoned. It 's always up to our personal choice the way we feel.